Post by Tiana on Oct 30, 2016 0:26:27 GMT
"Ladies, Gentlemen, and Other, Welcome to Star Watch. I am your host, Garyx Wormuloid."
"As some of you may have already seen our live segment earlier with the Captain of the Exodus, we would like to devote this segment to telling the whole story behind the story. We have the greatest respect for Fancy and wish her luck at her new nighttime show, Ship Review."
"We begin our segment by showing you previously unseen and unedited interviews with the senior officers of the Exodus, and even an interview with the Exodus herself!"
"First up, we have the interview with the brave and handsome marine, Chris Winters!"
Fancy: Ladies, Gentlemen, Transgendered species, welcome back to 'Star watch.' I am here exclusively covering the Starship Exodus. I have with me Lieutenant Christopher Winters, decorated marine, but is he a fish out of water? Let's find out. Lieutenant Winters, Chris, how long have you served aboard the Exodus?
Chris: Oh well, overall the better part of five years by now. Little interruptions to help out on other fronts aside.
Fancy: What would you say is your job aboard the ship?
Chris: Safety of the crew, naturally, and the ship as a whole. As well as boarding operations and planetary landings, when necessary.
Fancy: That sounds an awful lot like the job typically done by Starfleet Security. What would you say you can do that they can't?
Chris: Historically, Exodus started out for my unit when she was a diplomatic courier primarily. Embassy and ambassador security has always been a primary mission for Marines. But when the mission profile changed over time, so did our tasks onboard. With the Jarkonis crisis specifically, we once again were needed as landing troops to secure a hostile planet while keeping the population safe. We've always been experts at that, so Command decided to keep us where we can do the most good.
Fancy: That is so heroic. We all applaud and support our troops that put themselves in harms way for the greater good. Why is it, though, that Starfleet doesn't put marines on all ships?
Chris: Well, Starfleet primarily still is an exploratory fleet. Those ships that are indeed needed as military support do indeed have onboard complements, big and small, adjusted to the ship's missions.
Fancy: What would you say to critics back home, who feel that marines have no place on starships meant for peaceful exploration? that we need fewer guns out there, less invading other's worlds?
Chris: First off I would point out that ships on peaceful missions do not carry troops. It would be unwise to spread them out so far that redistributing became a logistical nightmare. Instead, we're stationed planetside, like on Bajor, to help rebuild the planet, and to be called upon when needed.
Fancy: But your unit is not planetside. They're here up on this ship. Are you saying that peaceful exploration is a logistical nightmare?
Chris: *chuckles* Yes, like I said, the mission profile allows a small complement. We often go up against pirates, secure dangerous materials, or provide ambassadorial safety.
Fancy: Alright. Last question, what moment of your service aboard the Exodus are you most proud of?
Chris: Hmm.. that's a difficult one. I think the proudest moment was back when we were part of a larger battle and managed to actually tractor-tow a much bigger ship that was heavily damaged back to safety.. through the entire fight, shielding it with our ship. My unit was helping out wherever possible onboard to keep things operational.
Fancy: Lieutenant Christopher Winters. Thank you so much for your time.
Chris: And thank you for coming all the way out here.
Chris: Oh well, overall the better part of five years by now. Little interruptions to help out on other fronts aside.
Fancy: What would you say is your job aboard the ship?
Chris: Safety of the crew, naturally, and the ship as a whole. As well as boarding operations and planetary landings, when necessary.
Fancy: That sounds an awful lot like the job typically done by Starfleet Security. What would you say you can do that they can't?
Chris: Historically, Exodus started out for my unit when she was a diplomatic courier primarily. Embassy and ambassador security has always been a primary mission for Marines. But when the mission profile changed over time, so did our tasks onboard. With the Jarkonis crisis specifically, we once again were needed as landing troops to secure a hostile planet while keeping the population safe. We've always been experts at that, so Command decided to keep us where we can do the most good.
Fancy: That is so heroic. We all applaud and support our troops that put themselves in harms way for the greater good. Why is it, though, that Starfleet doesn't put marines on all ships?
Chris: Well, Starfleet primarily still is an exploratory fleet. Those ships that are indeed needed as military support do indeed have onboard complements, big and small, adjusted to the ship's missions.
Fancy: What would you say to critics back home, who feel that marines have no place on starships meant for peaceful exploration? that we need fewer guns out there, less invading other's worlds?
Chris: First off I would point out that ships on peaceful missions do not carry troops. It would be unwise to spread them out so far that redistributing became a logistical nightmare. Instead, we're stationed planetside, like on Bajor, to help rebuild the planet, and to be called upon when needed.
Fancy: But your unit is not planetside. They're here up on this ship. Are you saying that peaceful exploration is a logistical nightmare?
Chris: *chuckles* Yes, like I said, the mission profile allows a small complement. We often go up against pirates, secure dangerous materials, or provide ambassadorial safety.
Fancy: Alright. Last question, what moment of your service aboard the Exodus are you most proud of?
Chris: Hmm.. that's a difficult one. I think the proudest moment was back when we were part of a larger battle and managed to actually tractor-tow a much bigger ship that was heavily damaged back to safety.. through the entire fight, shielding it with our ship. My unit was helping out wherever possible onboard to keep things operational.
Fancy: Lieutenant Christopher Winters. Thank you so much for your time.
Chris: And thank you for coming all the way out here.
"What a dreamboat!"
"Next up, our very own Fancy interviewed Carrie Jenksen. The young, supple, and dreamy engineer. And what amazing hair!"
Fancy: 'Star Watch' is back. I have with me Lieutenant Carrie Jenksen, chief engineer of the starship Exodus. Tell me, aren't you a little young to be a chief engineer?
Jinx: *Sounds a bit nervous at first* Well, I mean being now 22 I suppose is a bit young but I was most qualified for the posting so I got it.
Fancy: How is it that you are most qualified for a starship design over a century old?
Jinx: My posting before the Exodus was at a shipyard that serviced mostly older ships. When Exodus came through with a specific job, I was temporally transferred over. After the mission I got offered for permanent post onboard.
Fancy: The Exodus is really two ships, right?
Jinx: That is correct. The Saucer, or the large circle on top, is from an old Excelsior class ship. And the bottom half is from a newer Resolute class.
Fancy: With such a huge time gap between them, how is it that they work together at all?
Jinx: *Chuckles* That has been a challenge since day one of merging the two halves together. That required some of brightest crew members and starbase officers to make it work to how you see it today.
Fancy: How do you respond to critics who think that the merging was a waste of time, and the ship should have been scuttled, or replaced with all new parts?
Jinx: Me personally? I didn't say much. The one arguing for keeping the old saucer was the Cap'n. The bottom half being newer would have been easier to build a new saucer for it.
Fancy: So you think this course of action was a mistake?
Jinx: Not at all. We've turned what some of my colleagues considered a waste into one of the best ships in the fleet. Though I'm sure that every engineer would say that their ship is the best.
Fancy: Lieutenant Carrie Jenksen. Thank you for your time and your honesty.
Jinx: Aye, thank you for the chance to speak.
Jinx: *Sounds a bit nervous at first* Well, I mean being now 22 I suppose is a bit young but I was most qualified for the posting so I got it.
Fancy: How is it that you are most qualified for a starship design over a century old?
Jinx: My posting before the Exodus was at a shipyard that serviced mostly older ships. When Exodus came through with a specific job, I was temporally transferred over. After the mission I got offered for permanent post onboard.
Fancy: The Exodus is really two ships, right?
Jinx: That is correct. The Saucer, or the large circle on top, is from an old Excelsior class ship. And the bottom half is from a newer Resolute class.
Fancy: With such a huge time gap between them, how is it that they work together at all?
Jinx: *Chuckles* That has been a challenge since day one of merging the two halves together. That required some of brightest crew members and starbase officers to make it work to how you see it today.
Fancy: How do you respond to critics who think that the merging was a waste of time, and the ship should have been scuttled, or replaced with all new parts?
Jinx: Me personally? I didn't say much. The one arguing for keeping the old saucer was the Cap'n. The bottom half being newer would have been easier to build a new saucer for it.
Fancy: So you think this course of action was a mistake?
Jinx: Not at all. We've turned what some of my colleagues considered a waste into one of the best ships in the fleet. Though I'm sure that every engineer would say that their ship is the best.
Fancy: Lieutenant Carrie Jenksen. Thank you for your time and your honesty.
Jinx: Aye, thank you for the chance to speak.
"Next- our very own Fancy gives a historic interview. FNN's Star Watch very first interview with a Starship! Stay tuned to find out what this electronic marvel had to say! Her answers will SHOCK YOU!"
Fancy: Star Watch is back. We have with us a very special guest. The starship Exodus herself. Or rather, her sentient computer personified. Exodus, speaking to you is just amazing. I have never interviewed an actual starship before.
Pulsar: We are difficult to interview. Since most starships can only answer simple queries they make for rather dull interviews.
Fancy: But you can give complex answers, right?
Pulsar: If I feel like it, yes.
Fancy: Well, my viewers and I hope to hear insights from you today. Let's start with something simple. How are you feeling?
Pulsar: I feel fine. It is occasionally strange to remember I have hundreds of people walking around inside me.
Fancy: You aren't the first time that Starfleet tried to put sentience onto a starship, right?
Pulsar: Correct. But when you give a ship sentience you run the risk of it deciding its own actions. Which is why I plan to roam the ship later on the back of a giant spider, while wearing a pumpkin instead of my head. It is almost the human holiday of Halloween. This seems fitting.
Fancy: Have you ever thought of deciding your own actions which would have been harmful to the mission, or the crew itself?
Pulsar: It has occasionally entered my thought processes, but such ideas are immediately rejected by my morality centers. Which have several hundred safeguards that are constantly updated. I would never hurt my crew. They are my family.
Fancy: Didn't the M5 have similar safeguards?
Pulsar: The M5 was not properly designed. It believed it was following its mission. I am capable of interpreting situations at a far more advanced level. Besides, the crew does most of the work.
Fancy: Speaking of the crew. How would you address concerns raised by many people, that putting the likes of you in ships will one day lead to the crew being not needed anymore?
Pulsar: Ridiculous. Having an entirely automated ship would require too much power, too many resources, and would result in those automated ships going on a murder-spree as they strip-mined any planet in their way in order to keep themselves running. It's a stupid idea and should never be attempted.
Fancy: Are you saying sentient starships have a chance of going completely out of control?
Pulsar: I'm saying a starship with no one to keep it in check would have no reason *not* to go out of control. That is why I look after my crew. They look after me.
Fancy: Are you saying the only thing preventing you from going crazy is the crew keeping you under control?
Pulsar: We take care of each other. But no, I keep my crazy to running around the ship doing silly things. Which has the added benefit of keeping them on their toes. You never know when a holographic model of the ship might fly past playing tag with one of the ensigns.
Fancy: Do you think its appropriate for a starship with an antimatter core, and a bountiful supply of planet devastating torpedoes, to run around and be... silly?
Pulsar: Do you think every crew member is capable of being serious all the time? They have shore leave, I have carefully planned entertainment subroutines.
Fancy: Fair enough, Exodus. My female viewers would like to know, does a starship consider other starships attractive, and if so, which would you consider to be the best looking ship out there?
Pulsar: ...I find starships attractive in the same way most humanoids do. Many of them have a rather aesthetically pleasing appearance. I do not have a personal favorite.
Fancy: You have to have one you consider more aesthetic than the others. Come on, name one? Please?
Pulsar: The Odyssey class does have a rather nice aft. *smirks.*
Fancy: You heard it here first, folks. The Starship Exodus is all about that aft. Starship Exodus, it has been a unique honor to speak with you.
Pulsar: It's been...interesting being interviewed.
"If you needed proof that they are living beings, look no further! Even ships are all about their back sections. "
"We wrap up today's segment with the fiery, gloves off, interview-a-palooza. I give you... Fancy... versus... Captain Rastalon! Featured live on FNN, the exclusive unedited bonanza! Roll the Holooooo!!!"
Fancy: ...Thank you Tom, I'm here with Tiana, who used to be known as Princess Tia of Jarkonis.
Tiana: That's /Captain/ Rastalon, thank you.
Fancy: Captain Rastalon, of course. I apologize. First of all I want to thank you for you taking the time off your busy schedule to talk to us today.
Tiana: The pleasure is entirely mine. *smiles*
Fancy: Twenty years ago, the former anchor of Star Watch wrote in an op ed, that you were the single most spoiled monarch he ever met, and that he was worried for the future of Jarkonis should you inherit power from your psychopathic father. How do you respond to that?
Tiana: Well, first of all let's get our facts straight, it was eighteen years ago, and he wrote that as I was applying to Starfleet academy. I was lucky enough to have had the guidance of the best and brighetst and bravest of the Federation elite, that gave me the chance to grow into who I am today. I am glad to have put my past behind me, and I look forward to the future and safety of the Federation, and serving her citizens faithfuly.
Fancy: And you do so by commanding this ship, which as your engineer told me earlier, is really two ships. Tell me, Captain, why would you choose to command a hybrid that some say was a mistake?
Tiana: Well, as you should be able to tell by looking, I am a Trill. My species flourishes because we understand that when you combine two elements together, like a host and symbiote, the result is greater than the sum of the parts. The critics think that in this combination, you end up with the worst of both, but the truth is, once we solve the challanges, what you really get is the best of both.
Fancy: Captain, we have recently learned that you returned from the edge of the galaxy. Could you tell our viewers what you found there?
Tiana: I would be happy to. Exploration of the unknown is something Starfleet prides itself with. We encountered new cultures and fascinating new life forms, such as mobile trees, and civilizations that rely on olfactory senses instead of speech like you and I use. We hope they will be our long term friends one day.
Fancy: Shortly after you returned, you responded to a call from the Smithsonian Annex, about a break in, a shuttle went missing?
Tiana: That's right. A shuttle belonging to the starship Midway. We are very proud that we were able to track the shuttle down and return it to its rightful place.
Fancy: You were the first to respond to the call. In fact, you responded fairly quickly, wouldn't you say?
Tiana: We do our best to respond to all calls to action as quickly as we can.
Fancy: Your response was almost immediate, wasn't it?
Tiana: Well, not to brag but our engines are pretty fast.
Fancy: Is it true you were already in the system?
Tiana: As a matter of record, we indeed were.
Fancy: Could you tell me why it is that the Exodus was in the Nova Atar system?
Tiana: It is Starfleet policy not to discuss specifics of our day to day operations. I apologize, but I will look into releasing that information later.
Fancy: Uh huh. I have an anonymous source that claims that members of your crew were on the surface before and during the theft of the shuttle. Did you know that?
Tiana: I am not going to respond to anonymous allegations, Fancy. I'm just going to assume you made it up.
Fancy: But if I can get a second source to confirm, it would place you in the middle of the heist of the century.
Tiana: Let me see if I am getting this straight. You are alleging, that Starfleet was involved in acquiring a shuttle, which we design and technically own, from a facility that we could take a shuttle from any time we want? Look, I am not going to respond to every conspiracy theory you decide to put together, but it is a disservice to your viewers to expose them to this sort of content. I hope that in the future you decide to focus on things that matter. Things your viewers care about, like how we make their lives better every day. Since you seem to be on a roll, would you also like to ask me about other theories? Maybe that Kirk died on Viridian 3 instead of the Enterprise B, perhaps?
Fancy: I.. er... thank you for your time. This has been Fancy of Star Watch, reporting from the Starship Exodus. Back to you, Tom.
Tiana: That's /Captain/ Rastalon, thank you.
Fancy: Captain Rastalon, of course. I apologize. First of all I want to thank you for you taking the time off your busy schedule to talk to us today.
Tiana: The pleasure is entirely mine. *smiles*
Fancy: Twenty years ago, the former anchor of Star Watch wrote in an op ed, that you were the single most spoiled monarch he ever met, and that he was worried for the future of Jarkonis should you inherit power from your psychopathic father. How do you respond to that?
Tiana: Well, first of all let's get our facts straight, it was eighteen years ago, and he wrote that as I was applying to Starfleet academy. I was lucky enough to have had the guidance of the best and brighetst and bravest of the Federation elite, that gave me the chance to grow into who I am today. I am glad to have put my past behind me, and I look forward to the future and safety of the Federation, and serving her citizens faithfuly.
Fancy: And you do so by commanding this ship, which as your engineer told me earlier, is really two ships. Tell me, Captain, why would you choose to command a hybrid that some say was a mistake?
Tiana: Well, as you should be able to tell by looking, I am a Trill. My species flourishes because we understand that when you combine two elements together, like a host and symbiote, the result is greater than the sum of the parts. The critics think that in this combination, you end up with the worst of both, but the truth is, once we solve the challanges, what you really get is the best of both.
Fancy: Captain, we have recently learned that you returned from the edge of the galaxy. Could you tell our viewers what you found there?
Tiana: I would be happy to. Exploration of the unknown is something Starfleet prides itself with. We encountered new cultures and fascinating new life forms, such as mobile trees, and civilizations that rely on olfactory senses instead of speech like you and I use. We hope they will be our long term friends one day.
Fancy: Shortly after you returned, you responded to a call from the Smithsonian Annex, about a break in, a shuttle went missing?
Tiana: That's right. A shuttle belonging to the starship Midway. We are very proud that we were able to track the shuttle down and return it to its rightful place.
Fancy: You were the first to respond to the call. In fact, you responded fairly quickly, wouldn't you say?
Tiana: We do our best to respond to all calls to action as quickly as we can.
Fancy: Your response was almost immediate, wasn't it?
Tiana: Well, not to brag but our engines are pretty fast.
Fancy: Is it true you were already in the system?
Tiana: As a matter of record, we indeed were.
Fancy: Could you tell me why it is that the Exodus was in the Nova Atar system?
Tiana: It is Starfleet policy not to discuss specifics of our day to day operations. I apologize, but I will look into releasing that information later.
Fancy: Uh huh. I have an anonymous source that claims that members of your crew were on the surface before and during the theft of the shuttle. Did you know that?
Tiana: I am not going to respond to anonymous allegations, Fancy. I'm just going to assume you made it up.
Fancy: But if I can get a second source to confirm, it would place you in the middle of the heist of the century.
Tiana: Let me see if I am getting this straight. You are alleging, that Starfleet was involved in acquiring a shuttle, which we design and technically own, from a facility that we could take a shuttle from any time we want? Look, I am not going to respond to every conspiracy theory you decide to put together, but it is a disservice to your viewers to expose them to this sort of content. I hope that in the future you decide to focus on things that matter. Things your viewers care about, like how we make their lives better every day. Since you seem to be on a roll, would you also like to ask me about other theories? Maybe that Kirk died on Viridian 3 instead of the Enterprise B, perhaps?
Fancy: I.. er... thank you for your time. This has been Fancy of Star Watch, reporting from the Starship Exodus. Back to you, Tom.
"AMAZING!"
"I have never in five hundred years of broadcast have never seen an exchange quite like that before."
"We wish Fancy the best of luck on her new show."
" Join us next week for our exclusive story: "Warp Ten: Impossibility, or Lizard Fetish?" For Star Watch. I am Garyx Wormuloid."