Post by mortician on Jun 4, 2014 12:36:16 GMT
First Log... Been a while since I kept one of these as inactive as it's been for my crew and I.
Where to start... Ah well, Things have been changing rapidly in the past month or so from personal to professional levels. It's weird to think a month ago I was ready to hand in my resignation papers and quit Starfleet completely. Now I'm acting head of security for the time being until the previous one gets his act together or they find someone better. By the elements what a mess that was, cases of conflict's of interest, false accusations and reports. The fact that any of this was allowed to occur let alone happen, is why I'm beginning to see more and more of Sindari's viewpoint of Starfleet incompetence. Let alone it took six long months of sitting around waiting for my orders and a third parties involvement to get me a mission for the Ticonderoga.
Then there is the incident of a Starfleet officer, IN UNIFORM... I cannot stress that enough, threatening an ally right in the middle of the Starbase, ontop of that the woman I am currently involved with. Normally threats like that don't bother me, we have our bad days and sometimes people need to vent. But they should do that while out of uniform. Everyone that wears the pips and officers colors worked hard to get through the academy. There is a standard that has been set by numerous Captains who have come before the present generation. This is what it has come down to?
Admittedly Admiral Vilaina's reaction time to my report was far faster than I could of expected. The fact that the senior staff got involved means I've made a few ripples in the pool... this is a good sign. It means they aren't inactive or lethargic as I was believing before. The only issue now is will these ripples dissipate and return to nothingness or will the Senior staff continue to be vigilant and aware of what the officers do in the 146th. I cannot be ever present or aware of things like this going on and I do not wish to become the fleet "rat." Otherwise this is a good sign the 146th.
Enough of the venting and complaints. On a personnel note my relationship with Sindari has developed far more rapidly than I expected. We compliment each other well in most respects. She is quite eager to please both mentally and physically. I have read her record, the reports and post action reports. She has done more than questionable things, but at the same time I feel myself ignoring her past mistakes. When I look at her I see a woman with intelligence, drive and... starvation. When I say starvation I mean of the emotional sort. You don't need to be a betazoid to read her emotions. There is deep mental scarring that may never fully heal no matter how hard I try. She craves appreciation from the 146, so much that in the incident with Lara, at the end of her rant to me in private she said "That maybe if I save them one more time, maybe then they'll like me." My heart ached when she said that. For all her venom, snark.. she craves approval, she wants that more than anything and to be loved. It sounds so cliched and something out of a absolutely god awful romance holo-vid or novel. But it's true and I see it more and more in her as she strives to solve this problem with Species 8472. I can only hope her relations improve between the Senior Staff over time and that me being with her that will help smooth things a little bit.. or it could become a huge detriment. Time will tell. End of Log.
Where to start... Ah well, Things have been changing rapidly in the past month or so from personal to professional levels. It's weird to think a month ago I was ready to hand in my resignation papers and quit Starfleet completely. Now I'm acting head of security for the time being until the previous one gets his act together or they find someone better. By the elements what a mess that was, cases of conflict's of interest, false accusations and reports. The fact that any of this was allowed to occur let alone happen, is why I'm beginning to see more and more of Sindari's viewpoint of Starfleet incompetence. Let alone it took six long months of sitting around waiting for my orders and a third parties involvement to get me a mission for the Ticonderoga.
Then there is the incident of a Starfleet officer, IN UNIFORM... I cannot stress that enough, threatening an ally right in the middle of the Starbase, ontop of that the woman I am currently involved with. Normally threats like that don't bother me, we have our bad days and sometimes people need to vent. But they should do that while out of uniform. Everyone that wears the pips and officers colors worked hard to get through the academy. There is a standard that has been set by numerous Captains who have come before the present generation. This is what it has come down to?
Admittedly Admiral Vilaina's reaction time to my report was far faster than I could of expected. The fact that the senior staff got involved means I've made a few ripples in the pool... this is a good sign. It means they aren't inactive or lethargic as I was believing before. The only issue now is will these ripples dissipate and return to nothingness or will the Senior staff continue to be vigilant and aware of what the officers do in the 146th. I cannot be ever present or aware of things like this going on and I do not wish to become the fleet "rat." Otherwise this is a good sign the 146th.
Enough of the venting and complaints. On a personnel note my relationship with Sindari has developed far more rapidly than I expected. We compliment each other well in most respects. She is quite eager to please both mentally and physically. I have read her record, the reports and post action reports. She has done more than questionable things, but at the same time I feel myself ignoring her past mistakes. When I look at her I see a woman with intelligence, drive and... starvation. When I say starvation I mean of the emotional sort. You don't need to be a betazoid to read her emotions. There is deep mental scarring that may never fully heal no matter how hard I try. She craves appreciation from the 146, so much that in the incident with Lara, at the end of her rant to me in private she said "That maybe if I save them one more time, maybe then they'll like me." My heart ached when she said that. For all her venom, snark.. she craves approval, she wants that more than anything and to be loved. It sounds so cliched and something out of a absolutely god awful romance holo-vid or novel. But it's true and I see it more and more in her as she strives to solve this problem with Species 8472. I can only hope her relations improve between the Senior Staff over time and that me being with her that will help smooth things a little bit.. or it could become a huge detriment. Time will tell. End of Log.